cane and cupcakes

Dry Good Friday

2008-03-21T12:43:00.003+02:00

What the hell is up with no alcohol purchases on Good Friday?!?

OK
I know. Religious holiday. My bad.

I went to Woolies to get flowers, caffeine, and wine for THE party today (look at post before this). I completely forgot about the alcohol rule and they had posted on all the fridges "No purchasing alcohol on Sunday." So I see the signs and completely forget about the "good" that is attached to today, my mentally retarded mind thought...

oh well its FRIDAY Woolies not SUNDAY! HAHAHA! So I grabbed my Zesty White bottle (you know you like it) and dashed to the line that is as usual a mile long.

When I got to the check out counter the lady does her stuff as usual and is about to check the wine when a manager runs his little buns to our counter and says "nonono!!"

He gave me a very naughty school girl look and took my precious wine away.
Bastard.
I almost got away with it.
So then I gave my oops I forgot look and crawled out of Woolies with my self esteem still in good nic.
Damn it. So now I am scrounging around the house I am sitting trying to find alcohol. I did find a bottle of vodka (mmmyummy). I think I will have to take half the bottle and water up the rest! Sneaky Sneaky!

Housesitter and tomorrow party madness.

2008-03-20T17:01:00.002+02:00

So all week...since no internship...I have done...nothing!
yayness!
It is such a good feeling to do nothing. I like it when the couch takes the shape of my ass permenantly. It just fits so well.
Went to Forries yesterday at 2 and didn't finish drinking there, oh no I had to continue the madness into the night. As I left my friends house I forgot my handbreak was still up and was revving all over the place. Gosh, aren't I classic.

Anywho
I am housesitting and it rocks. Moneymoneymoney and all I have to do is eat all their food. The only problem is that I do gain about 10 pounds everytime. Just so much food! I am not use to having such large quantities of chocolate and cheese in my presence. So then I have to eat it.

It is one of my best friends b-day tomorrow which means a big massive boozy lunch at her mansion that will last till 4 the next morning. Her parties are crazyness. Serious champagne and jacuzzi yumyum time. Will def. write all about it!

workworkwork

2008-03-12T20:37:00.003+02:00

Heyheyhey...
I have two more days left of internship and then I will write a bit more.

BUT

Can I just say that I love office politics! Hilarious. I think my office thinks I am crazy. I do have random outbursts of happyness or I pull out my American Southern accent. I am American and I did grow up in the South but I lost my accent awhile ago. Just FYI I am American BUT my Dad is South African and I have lived here for a bit.
Anyways...

The accent always can pull a smile out of the most unhappy person. I think I enjoy it for that reason alone.

"Ya'll" and "yonder" are my best. South Africans (mostly) might hate Americans (which I do too most of the times...I even hate myself because of my Americaness) but everyone always loves a good hilarious American accent.

Okay, I am rambling. I might be drunk...shhhhhhh....

I'm not hung over!

2008-03-08T09:47:00.005+02:00

I decided not to go out last night and for the first time in a long time I woke up without a hang over on a Saturday! A Saturday for Christs sakes! Seriously it is an amazing feeling. The day is beautiful and I woke up early and happy. My head is of normal size. I actually (gasp) ran errands! In the morning!

Gosh.
This is all too much for me to take. Maybe I should start drinking now. A boozy Saturday lunch or braai.
It is all too much to contemplate.

In other news. I have one more week of interning and then I will write more...there is kind of a ban on blogger there. yikes!

hung over

2008-03-02T15:33:00.002+02:00

My head feels like it is going to explode. Brain cells are popping as I type. My brother had a braai and for some reason we all decided to get school girl drunk. Then we played 30 seconds. Not a good idea.
ouch.
I am going to go sleep and eat and pray my head shrinks.

no I will not pick you up

2008-02-25T10:53:00.002+02:00

During the week I have to drive from town thru Camps Bay.
Just before getting on the main rd. from Camps Bay to Hout Bay there is always men on the side of the road by the stop sign.
When I approach the stop sign with cars in front of me I have noticed that the men check out each driver.
Out of every car they check out they always seem to single me out as the person who will definitely give them a lift.
So out come the hitch hiking thumbs.
I really don't understand how they can think that a woman, around her 20's, in sunglasses is seriously going to give them a lift.
That is just asking for trouble!
I see that scene from "Monster" in my head (minus the whole prostitute lesbian bit).

Stop putting those thumbs out boys because this chick ain't carrying.

Musician fever

2008-02-25T08:25:00.003+02:00

Everyone knows the sayings,

"Once you go Black you never go back"
or
"Jungle fever"

BUT

Has anyone thought about "Musician fever (MF)?"
I realised Friday night at The Dirty Skirts concert at Assembly that I have a slight case of MF.
Lets take it back to where I "went" musician.
I never thought that the whole skinny pants, long hair, pale skin was hot. It was ok. Then last year I went to Australia to visit my sister. She works for Sony BMG. One of the bands she was working with, lets call them "In." I started to hang out with a lot...blablabla and so I ended up making out with the lead singer a couple of times.
Big mistake.

Now anytime I see ANYONE singing or playing an instrument I'm infatuated.

Example from Friday night:
I might have been slightly tipsy when the first band came to the stage. Before they started playing I checked out one of the members of the band and could not figure out what sex it was.
Conversation with my friend D:

Me: "So uh is that a guy or a girl?? It has a masculine face but I think I see boobs..."
D: "Huh...wait... definitely a boy check the pants"
Me: "Ah ok whoa he is very feminine"

10 minutes later listening to the band playing 80's electro (sweet!)

Me: "Damn loving the 80's vibe... ohhh he's kinda cute"
D: "You just thought he was a girl. You thought he had boobs!"
Me: "Yea well uh it was a bad angle...look at him with that keyboard HOT!"
D: "B...stop drinking"

Friday night thoughts

2008-02-25T07:51:00.003+02:00

Every time I go out and about in town I end up typing in my phone random thoughts, quotes etc from the night.
Most of these thoughts/quotes are very incoherent as I was drunk when I wrote them.
These are Friday night's thoughts... I will elaborate later...if I remember what I was thinking when I wrote them!
1) dick driving
2) going home from work, side of the road hitch hikers
3) scraping for clam chowder
4) jungle fever/musicians

the inconvenience of having the initials BLO

2008-02-22T15:12:00.003+02:00

BLO
yes.
Those are the amazing initials that my parentals gave me.

I have always wondered if they even noticed how much of a burden this was going to be. As a child I thought it was cool. You know, blow-pops those amazingly good lollipops?

As I got older I realised what other things "blow" can mean. While this might be awesome initials for guys to hear, it isn't so much for me.

guy: "oh! so your initials are BLO?" (smirk, smile, grin, wink...all at once)

me: "yes, I know" (shameful downcast eyes)

guy: "so do your initials mean you are good at certain things?"

me: "yes. that's exactly why my parents gave me them. they knew that their daughter would be exceptionally good at giving head."

guy: "sweet!"

The other downside of my initials is if you take out the middle initial, "L". That gives me BO. The common reference to Body Odour.

Great.
I give head and I stink.

At my college we had to sign our initials each day for attendance. This always gave me the problem of signing my initials or just writing out my first name, I always chose the second option.

Seriously parents. Consider your child's initials. It will save them some embarrassment in the future.

thanks.

the bad intern

2008-02-22T11:07:00.001+02:00

the bad intern does the following:

-clicks to a "work" page on the "internet" when someone walks by

-starts typing crazily when someone walks by

-writes on her notepad with vigor when someone walks by

note the pattern?

Smile

2008-02-22T09:26:00.001+02:00

Why is it that I always get random people coming up to me saying,
" smile...it's not that bad"
or
"smile...it's a great day"
It's 7.20 am bitch. i just drove 30 minutes to work and all i want to do is pay for my muffin, get in the office and check my email.
I'm not even getting paid.
It's an internship.
So lay the fuck off me.